The Little Boy....

Sharing a thought provoking poem by Helen Buckley 

The Little Boy....

 

Once a little boy went to school.

 

One morning

The teacher said:

"Today we are going to make a picture."

"Good!" thought the little boy.

He liked to make all kinds;

Lions and tigers,

Chickens and cows,

Trains and boats;

And he took out his box of crayons

And began to draw.

 

But the teacher said, "Wait!"

"It is not time to begin!"

And she waited until everyone looked ready.

"Now," said the teacher,

"We are going to make flowers."

"Good!" thought the little boy,

He liked to make beautiful ones

With his pink and orange and blue crayons.

But the teacher said "Wait!"

"And I will show you how."

And it was red, with a green stem.

"There," said the teacher,

"Now you may begin."

 

The little boy looked at his teacher's flower

Then he looked at his own flower.

He liked his flower better than the teacher's

But he did not say this.

He just turned his paper over,

And made a flower like the teacher's.

It was red, with a green stem.

 

On another day

The teacher said:

"Today we are going to make something with clay."

"Good!" thought the little boy;

He liked clay.

He could make all kinds of things with clay:

Snakes and snowmen,

Elephants and mice,

Cars and trucks

And he began to pull and pinch

His ball of clay.

 

But the teacher said, "Wait!"

"It is not time to begin!"

And she waited until everyone looked ready.

"Now," said the teacher,

"We are going to make a dish."

"Good!" thought the little boy,

He liked to make dishes.

And he began to make some

That were all shapes and sizes.

 

But the teacher said "Wait!"

"And I will show you how."

And she showed everyone how to make

One deep dish.

"There," said the teacher,

"Now you may begin."

 

The little boy looked at the teacher's dish;

Then he looked at his own.

He liked his better than the teacher's

But he did not say this.

He just rolled his clay into a big ball again

And made a dish like the teacher's.

It was a deep dish.

 

And pretty soon

The little boy learned to wait,

And to watch

And to make things just like the teacher.

And pretty soon

He didn't make things of his own anymore.

 

Then it happened

That the little boy and his family

Moved to another house,

In another city,

And the little boy

Had to go to another school.

 

The teacher said:

"Today we are going to make a picture."

"Good!" thought the little boy.

And he waited for the teacher

To tell what to do.

But the teacher didn't say anything.

She just walked around the room.

 

When she came to the little boy

She asked, "Don't you want to make a picture?"

"Yes," said the little boy.

"What are we going to make?"

"I don't know until you make it," said the teacher.

"How shall I make it?" asked the little boy.

"Why, anyway you like," said the teacher.

"And any color?" asked the little boy.

"Any color," said the teacher.

And he began to make a red flower with a green stem.

 

~Helen Buckley, The Little Boy

Is suicide preventable?

‘World Suicide Prevention Day’ is observed on 10 Sept every year. The theme for this year’s Suicide Prevention Day is ‘Working together to prevent suicide’. Suicide is escaping from self and unpleasant reality of life.

Thought process

Suicidal thoughts start building gradually and if a person or those around the person fail to notice such thoughts, the situations worsens day-by-day. People often create unreasonable standards for personal happiness and become emotionally weak when they receive setbacks. The difference between standards and perceived reality initiates the suicidal process. Low self-esteem is another reason for suicidal thoughts. The person who attempts suicide feels helpless and hopeless and thus feels death is only thing that can end his/her pain. The person reaches emotional numbness, feels empty, unfocused, disconnected from surroundings and suicide seems to be the only possible solution. Physical and mental illness also cause a person to be suicidal.

Reasons

Major causes for suicide in India include debt, marriage related issues, failure, illness, loss of loved one, addiction, fall in social reputation, love affairs, poverty, unemployment, property disputes.

Warning Signs

Long lasting sadness, extreme mood swings

Sleep problem

Deep sense of hopelessness

Withdrawing self from social activities

Change in behaviour

Sudden inattention to appearance

Recent emotional trauma

Talking about suicide or ending life or death

Increased use of alcohol or drugs

Excessive fatigue and lethargy

Loss of interest

Sudden aggression or irritability

Self-harming behaviour

Family history of suicide

Mental illness

What we can do?

First step in suicide prevention is knowledge of the risk factors. The awareness about mental health is so less in India that it is left untreated most of the time. And by the time we notice it, it has already done the damage. If someone you know shows warning signs of suicide, openly talk to them and be ready to help. Sometimes, having someone to care for us is a great relief for such people and they share their distress. You can then encourage that person to take professional help.

Working on shame and stigma attached to mental illness is also important. People who have intense emotional problems resist to take professional help in the fear of being discriminated. A person with mental illness is often judged by society. It is important to know that mental illness are curable with the help of proper therapy/treatment.

If you notice someone who is in self-destructive or self-harm behaviour, it should immediately be brought to the notice of nearest family members. Such people should always be accompanied by someone.

Community based awareness programs on mental health related issues is the need of the hour. Everyone from a 5 year old child to 60 year old retired officer face some kind of stress which is most often left unnoticed and untreated. Talking about mental health can help individuals cope with life stress more effectively.

Building a strong support network of family and friends helps us share our feelings and restore hope & faith in ourselves & life. Offering unconditional support to a friend when needed is also important.

Yoga, meditation, relaxation techniques, mindfulness are some tools to keep mind healthy & happy.

Easy access to mental health professionals is also very important in maintaining good mental health.

If we all are determined to show a little compassion towards each other, we can foster our own as well as other’s mental health.

Steel-hard determination

This is the unbelievable story of a 24 yr young boy who is number one book reviewer of India. YES. You read it right. The hero of today’s story, Archit Ojha, is best & most followed book reviewer of India.

Archit’s love for book reading started from the age of 10 years. Harry Potter was the book that mesmerized him & even after reading more than 1000 books (Oh my God!) from around the world, he still thinks that Harry Potter series is the best. A person who reads always develops desire to write. Fortunately Archit received encouragement from teachers for his silly (in his opinion) poems, and this made way for polished writing skills in future.

Archit used to read books managing his academics (Engineering studies) and other activities. Once in June 2016, a friend suggested him to write a review of one book he read. That review was a hit on Goodreads. This was a big boost for Archit to continue writing reviews. Within a span of just two years, Archit has reviewed more than seven hundred books. More than 500 writers / publishers from across the world have approached him to review their books. The volume of the books he receives is so high that the courier people who deliver the books are amazed by the number f ‘parcels’ he receives. His mother has recently got him a special bed with storage space for books. In Archit’s words, he sleeps on bed with books all around him.

Archit got taste of different foreign cultures through books & learnt Spanish, German & French languages – and he learnt them all using mobile apps. Learning new language takes lot of efforts & consistency, and Archit made it possible on his own.

After completing his engineering degree from NIT, Raipur, Archit chose to follow a different path. He enrolled in a college for higher studies in neuroscience. Soon he realized that the course was not for him & he decided to step back instead of continuing to do what he didn’t like much. Such decisions need lot of courage & faith in self too. Archit had both & he decided to prepare for exams to enter healthcare services administration. His dream is to work with World Health Organization for the betterment of society.

Excelling in studies, reading books, spending time with friends – time management is the key to this balanced life. Archit has a schedule of day-to-day activities in excel sheets. And he can tell you what he was doing at a specific time on a specific date by looking back in his excel sheets. Watch your breath!!! This is true.

Such level of dedication, consistency, hard work, self-management, self-control, steel-hard determination (borrowing Archit’s phrase here) is very rare to see – and such inspiring youth make us feel assured of India’s bright future. Personally for me, the target is to achieve atleast 5% of time management skills of Archit.

HARFANMAULA

One fine morning, I got to know about TEDx event happening in Raipur, Chhattisgarh. I grabbed the opportunity to attend the event. I met one young boy of age 23 there who was introduced to me as the organizer of the event. First interaction with him was small & formal. But that meeting gave me a hint of his distinct personality. His name is, Utkarsh Garg.

I was sure that knowing more about him would be interesting. So I decided to meet him. And here I am, starting my series of stories – “Ignite – stories of invincible youths” with his story.

The story starts as a story of any common middle-class boy. Shy, introvert Utkarsh entered NIT Raipur with a simple dream of getting a degree and job. But this place had something different in store for him. He felt left alone because of his shortcomings in presenting himself, interacting with others, socializing. But instead of being depressed about it, he consciously started to work on himself. He faced his fears, actively participated in extra-curricular activities & soon was a hero in college. He found his inclination towards poetry because it was a medium to express himself. Working for college “Committees and clubs” developed qualities of managing & coordinating teams and gave him exposure to the world literature. Entering sports committee helped him gain physical freedom (he says precisely 20kgs reduced in 8 months was the 1st successful task for self), taught him “how to be a true leader even if circumstances are all against you”. His well-thought choice of internship at a start-up gave him knowledge of managing finances too & was cherry on the cake in this journey of self-discovery. The mythological stories heard in childhood made sense while reading Speaking Tree Column in TOI. (He makes his notes based on his understanding of the topic in the column – amazing!) This developed spiritual angle towards true meaning of life.

The dots started connecting, introvert – poetry – expression – spirituality- leadership - discovering/identifying the objective of his life. Next step in a common person’s life would have been well-paid job & materialistically happy life. But Utkarsh is different & special because of his different & special choices. Next dot for him was an urge to give back to the society where he lived i.e. Chhattisgarh

This urge made organize a TEDx event, He started a business on Consulting brands and managing their Public relations. Alongside this he also started Alphapreneur – a platform for all creative people who want to follow their passion which unified it into a holistic concept.

Some of the well-thought & well-executed activities of Alphapreneur include–

Start-up conference – The Largest Startup Conference of Central India and the most diverse in the whole nation.

Passion directory – Phonebook of people organised according to their passions. So that they can connect more synergistically.

Passion talks – A direct interaction with people who want to follow their passion with an expert in the field which we might think is impossible to have a career in.

TEDx – To bring innovative ideas by people of the state on the global stage.

Exposure trips - Visits to remote tribal villages in Chhattisgarh (His thought behind such trips amazed me – it keeps you grounded, connects you to nature & culture, gives you a taste of vulnerability of life.)

Utkarsh also runs a start-up Arz kia hai – A community of poets & writers, which recently got funded. To add some facts, Arz Kia Hai was the first platform to organise open-mic poetry slams in India back in 2013 while he was still in college. The organization caught up slowly with just him being the admin of the page to 250+ registered members all over India with over 5 dedicated chapters today. And guess what! They are launching the first literature digest in coming months while opening a first high-end digital library with its offline outlets.

This, indeed, is a list of ‘most weird’ ideas for today’s materialistic world. But Utkarsh’s conviction behind these ideas is so strong that I am sure he will make this list work for him & others like him. And I can see more such ‘out of the box’ ideas added to his list the next time I meet him.

If I want to sum Utkarsh Garg’s personality in one word, that word would be – HARFANMAULA.

I LOVE ME

When we hear the phrase ‘Love Yourself’, immediate thought that comes to our mind is – you mean I should behave selfishly?

So, few questions to ask yourself (and answer honestly only to yourself) – Do you treat yourself with love? Are you good to yourself?

One may answer this question as ‘YES’, but if you take a moment to think & introspect, your answer would most likely be – not really.

We often miss our meals, we torture ourselves with negative, judgmental, depreciative thoughts about yourself, we blame & hate ourselves for our mistakes & sometimes for others’ mistakes too.

So, how do I love myself? Self-love is not something to be done in 1 or 2 days. It’s a lifelong process, it’s a way of living life. Loving self needs to be practiced & should be done as a daily routine.

Here are a few tips to adopt in your day-to-day lives for increasing your self-love.

 1.  Care for your body.

2. Connect with your inner being. 

3. Respect your uniqueness.

4. Be grateful for what you have.

5. It’s ok to make mistakes. What is important is to learn from them & move on.

6. Don’t strive for perfection.

7. Tone down inner critic.

8. Observe your self-talk.

10. Keep a journal.

11. Decide to love yourself more.

There are many books, articles, courses to learn techniques & tips for loving yourself more, but anything of it will work only & only if YOU decide to love yourself more & be committed to it.

Be true to yourself.

Be True To Yourself.

This one sentence can be life changing. What do you mean by being true to yourself? We all have natural conscience, or sense of right or wrong. This conscience guides our behaviour. Many a times, religious beliefs, society norms, peers & contemporaries influence one’s ability to be conscientious. In such case, we fail to differentiate good from bad.

image source : internet

So, how to be back to being ourselves? How to be true to ourselves? First thing we need to do is challenge our current belief system. By doing this, our mind will learn to question why we are doing what we are doing. Secondly, we should learn to be assertive. We should be able to put forth our opinion politely but firmly. There is no power in aggression. Real power lies in assertiveness. Third & most important thing, we should follow our hearts. Our inner system keeps sending us signals as to what is right & what is wrong. But, by practice, we manage to quiet that inner voice & eventually we no longer hear it. We should let our inner voice, our heart guide us in every moment.

What will one achieve by being true to oneself? One basic yet very very important thing – peace of mind. You will no longer need other’s approval. You will feel comfortable & confident in your own skin. You will no longer need to lie, act or be fake. You will take full responsibility of your life, make better decisions, choices & in turn, a better life.

My Thoughts, My Life

Thoughts. The one thing that keeps happening inside our mind continuously. We think around 50000-70000 thousand thoughts a day, many of which are repetitive.

Scene 1

Leena was standing at railway station waiting for the local train to come. She looked at the watch & said, “The train is not coming, I am going to be late.” The train came late & she reached her destination late. Then she said to herself, “I was sure this was going to happen.”

Scene 2

Radha was standing in the ATM queue thinking, “The cash in the ATM machine should not get over before my number comes.” She went inside the ATM, put the card in the machine, entered the pin & the saw message on the screen ‘No cash’. Radha said to herself, “I knew this was going to happen.”

Scene 3

Akash was going for an important meeting & it was raining heavily. He thought while getting into the car, “Looks like the rain is not going to stop soon. There will be traffic on the road.” Soon, he found himself stuck in traffic jam. He said to himself. “I thought this will happen.”

We all must have encountered such incidences & used such phrases many a times in our lives. So, is it a mere coincidence that our thoughts & experiences are same? NO. This happens because our thoughts create our life. What we think results in how we feel & what we think also shapes the events in our lives. Our thoughts affect out behaviour, attitude, actions, people around us & our entire life.

YES. OUR THOUGHTS CREATE OUR REALITY. Each thought we have creates an energy flow within & around us. This energy attracts its likeness.

If I think I am going to be late, it is manifested & I get late. If I think my life is boring, I get evidences to prove my thoughts. If I think I will forget everything I studied for exam, I will get blank when I see even an easy question in exam. If I think I am unwell, more illness will come my way.

BUT….. If I think I am going to pass my exams with flying colours, I will remember & write all that I have studied. If I think I am blessed to have a happy life, I will get more reasons to be happy. If I think I am going to be at the meeting on time, I will manage to do so.

How to create the reality I want/wish/expect/desire?

• Move your focus from what you don’t want to what you want. We should be very clear about what we want. ‘I don’t want to be late’ can be thought in a better way as ‘I want to reach in time’.
• Feelings are indication of quality of thoughts. Good thoughts = Good feelings. Bad thoughts = Bad feelings. Thoughts of fear, hurt, revenge, worthlessness, guilt lead to feelings of sadness, anxiety, negativity. Thoughts of success, hope, courage lead to feelings of happiness, kindness, confidence, gratitude.
• Challenge your negative thoughts. If you call yourself incompetent, look for incidences that prove you to be competent. Work on your beliefs related to this.
• Monitor your thoughts, learn to actively take control of them. Learn to think thoughts that are positive.
• Learn stress management techniques. Unmanaged stress often leads to negative thoughts. Learning & using different relaxation techniques, exercising, practicing yoga & meditation can be helpful in keeping the mind calm & positive.
• Learn to be grateful for what you have. Gratitude is one thing that works towards overall well-being of a person.

One of my favourite quote by Henry Ford to conclude ‘He who thinks he can and he who thinks he can’t, are both correct’.